Taking a Break From Grief

It hasn't yet been a year since my father passed and just barely a year since his wife passed. Since that time three other people close to me have passed away. It's been a year of deep, dark grief.

Due to the multiple deaths that have occurred, my grief has been layered. I barely had time to process the loss of my father’s wife when my father passed. Yes, they were elderly and ready to go, but their passings ushered in many changes and secondary losses. My grief was compounded and before I could duly mourn, another close friend passed and then two more. It has been a tough year emotionally. I needed temporary relief from the multiple grief I was experiencing. That's when I discovered grief glimmers.

Grief Glimmers are events or activities that temporarily lift a person from their burden of grief. Being in grief 24/7 takes energy and can zap us of the motivation to continue with our daily lives. Even though we may feel like curling up in a ball and scrolling on social media all day, there are still bills to pay, groceries to purchase, children to raise and job responsibilities to attend. When in deep grief, those routine activities can feel like lead weights leaving us to want to go lie down on the sofa and pull the covers over our head. I know this because I have done this many times during this past year.

But hiding from grief won’t make it go away. In my experiences with grief nothing I've found can remove this intense state of being. The pain is unavoidable unless you are considering getting an amygdalectomy. However, there are ways to help alleviate the pain and Grief glimmers can help. They provide temporary breaks from the mind’s continuous struggle to make sense of loss. You could label them as distractions but not all distractions are positive as are glimmers. Grief glimmers are little bits of heaven that come to us unexpectedly. They appeal to our higher selves and can often activate dopamine, causing our psyche to feel lighter. They ask nothing from us except to receive. They come in many forms and can happen at any time.

In my next post I will share examples of grief glimmers. Perhaps you have a few of your own you can also share.

Comet Atlas , October, 2024.